Conversation
Talking & Listening
Talking with your preschooler helps prepare them for kindergarten in several important ways. Through conversation they learn that words have meanings and can be used to express thoughts and feelings. In addition, engaging in two-way communication helps your child understand the world around them, while also encouraging the important skill of listening. All of these experiences are valuable steps in preparing them for kindergarten.
- By ages 3 to 4, children understand the meaning of many words and are able to follow one- or two-step directions. For example, “Put on your coat” or “Get your book and bring it to me so we can read it together.” They can use sentences with 4 or more words.
- By ages 4 to 5, children can hear and understand most of what is said at home and at school and can answer questions about a story that has been read to them. They can also tell a familiar story or list several day’s activities in order.
- By age 5, children speak understandably and in complete sentences with few mistakes. They’re able to put together sentences such as “Can I have a cookie after I finish dinner?” rather than “I want cookie.”
Use these activities to develop your preschooler’s speaking and listening skills.
Small Talk
Any time is talk time
Take advantage of times when you and your preschooler are together without a lot of distractions to have conversations. Look for one-on-one time while in the car, at the grocery store, making dinner, reading a book, or taking a walk.
Ask your child open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Instead of asking, “Did you play games at Blair’s birthday party?” ask, “What games did you play at Blair’s birthday party?”
When your child answers your questions, encourage them to answer the question with a complete sentence. For example, “My favorite game at Blair’s birthday party was Pin the Tail on the Donkey.”
Follow up with other questions to keep the conversation going: “How do you play Pin the Tail on the Donkey?” “What else did you do at the party?” “What would you like to do for your birthday party?” etc.
Take advantage of times when you and your preschooler are together without a lot of distractions to have conversations. Look for one-on-one time while in the car, at the grocery store, making dinner, reading a book, or taking a walk.
Ask your child open-ended questions that can’t be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Instead of asking, “Did you play games at Blair’s birthday party?” ask, “What games did you play at Blair’s birthday party?”
When your child answers your questions, encourage them to answer the question with a complete sentence. For example, “My favorite game at Blair’s birthday party was Pin the Tail on the Donkey.”
Follow up with other questions to keep the conversation going: “How do you play Pin the Tail on the Donkey?” “What else did you do at the party?” “What would you like to do for your birthday party?” etc.
Stretch out story time
Most children love to be read to. Many love to hear the same story over and over. Whether a new book or an old favorite, use story time to have a conversation. Read slowly, pausing at various times to ask thoughtful questions. “Why do you think Jack is so sad?” “How did the bunny make friends with the squirrel?” etc.
Share picture stories
Draw pictures together with your child, then make up stories about the pictures and tell them to each other.
Finish the sentence
Make up a story together. Start the story by saying, “Once upon a time there was a dog.” Next have your child add a line: “The dog’s name was Rover.” Then you add a line. “Rover got into the neighbor’s yard and…” Have your child tell what happens: “…ate the neighbor’s flowers.” Taking turns, continue the story until you finish it or your child wants to stop. After playing a few times let your child start the activity.
How Books Work
Reading together is the perfect time to introduce your child to how books work.
Show & tell
Start by showing your child the title of the book on the cover and the first page.
As you begin to read the story, take a minute to point out that you read from one side of the book (the left page) and then the other side of the book (the right page). Next point out that you start at the top of a page, and read the words from left to right, one line at a time until you reach the bottom of the page.
As you read the words, use your finger to point to the word you’re saying. This helps your child understand that words carry the message.
Draw attention to the pictures. This will show your child that the words and pictures work together to tell the story.
Ask leading questions about the illustrations or photos: “Why do you think Amir looks so confused?” To encourage discussion, follow up with one or more questions: “Do you remember a time when you were confused?” “What helped you feel less confused?” “What would help Amir feel less confused?”
Building Listening Skills
Play games that encourage listening
Kids love to play “Simon Says,” (especially when they get to be Simon and turn the tables on you!), and “Red Light, Green Light.” These games allow them to practice listening and following directions.
Model careful listening
Give your child your full attention when they talk to you. Take the time to explain things and answer all their questions.
Explore and discuss interests
Use your child’s interests (bugs, space, animals, etc.) to find informational books you can read to them. Have them tell you or another family member something new that they learned.
On a walk in the park (or at the playground, zoo, or museum) have a two-way conversation about all the interesting things that you notice.
Pro Tip
Any experience your preschooler has is an opportunity to practice talking and listening. The more practice your preschooler has in these areas, the more confident they’ll be to use their talking and listening skills when they get to school.
Pro Tip
Preschoolers often go through a stage where they ask “Why?” repeatedly. But before you tear your hair out and finally answer, “Because I said so!” take a deep breath and instead answer the questions as fully as you can. Curiosity is a valuable trait that should be encouraged. Furthermore, taking the time to provide a thorough response may be all that’s needed to satisfy their inquiring young mind.
Books
- Anansi the Spider: A Tale from the Ashanti, by Gerald McDermott
- Joseph Had a Little Overcoat, by Simms Taback
- On Mother’s Lap, by Ann Herbert Scott
- I’ll Always Come Back to You, by Carmen Tafollo